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Desires are the death of dreams

90 Days can make or break you

In the last 391 days I learned some valuable lessons.

I can tell you, accurately, it has been 391 days since I decided I was going to make a series of healthy-overhauls to my life. Toxic friends, bye bye. Poor diet, adios. Crappy relationships, hit the road Jack... and Justin, and Eric, and all you assholes. My life was going to change. Working out, daily practice. Healthy eating, log it--don't hog it. This was the start of my commitment to living my best life.

I didn't have a health scare that shocked me into this.

I had a life scare that shocked me out of this.

You see, it was my half birthday, halfway between my 30s. I turned 35 1/2 years old 391 days ago, I was on a self-guided retreat up in Newport, Rhode Island that first weekend in June. I remember it clearly, beautiful setting all around me. I was flying solo, living it up at the Omni and attending a concert in Providence on a Thursday, taking the scenic route to Newport on a Friday, staying at the cutest little bed and breakfast I could find through the weekend. Fresh fish on the water, wine in my cup, life was good.

Accept it wasn't.

I wasn't happy with my body, I wasn't happy with myself, I wasn't happy with my relationship status, I wasn't happy with my geographical location, I just wasn't happy.

So I made a plan.

And I followed it. To the T.

And my happy scale started to improve, almost immediately.

All-or-nothing is pretty much my go-to when it comes to anything.

I wasn't working out once a day, I was working out 2x a day.

I wasn't going to ease my way into healthy eating, I was going to go forward, full force. I cut out all alcohol, all sugar, all processed foods, all "junk".

I practiced hot yoga 5x a week.

I hit the gym 3x a week.

I ran 3-6 miles 4x a week.

I had an accountability partner that was doing it, too. In fact, he's still doing it... hahah (Thanks, Ricardo!)

In just 90 days time, I never looked or felt better.

I inspired the people around me in the gym, I was getting compliments everywhere I went. I was healthy. I was vibrant. I loved who I was on the inside and the outside. I met the love-of-my-life in late September. Everything I mapped out 90+ days earlier was exactly how I pictured it. Life was great. Mean it!

Now comes the hard part. Keeping it.

I maintained a 16-18g sugar/day diet for 100 days before some home-made cheesecake ice cream ruined me. And when I say ruined me, it ruined me. I caved to an indulgence that gave me such a severe headache I wanted to die. And I said, never again... accept, it became the start of introducing some other 'processed sugar-containing foods' back into my diet. I added alcohol back into my lifestyle, in moderation of course, 2 drink a week limit. After all, I had a new relationship I needed to cook, dine and socialize.

I kept my workout streak alive for 302 days. But the intensity of my 2x a day workouts scaled back to once a day. After all, I had a new relationship I needed to make time for...

And let me put it this way, the previous 89 days that took place before July 1, of this year, were starting to look like where I was 391 days ago. I didn't deserve this, my boyfriend didn't deserve this...

And THIS time I had the sh*t scared out of me.

I didn't even realize it happened... Things got 'busy'. I got lazy. C'est la vie.

Your life can change for the good or bad COMPLETELY in just 90 days time.

I've learned that my relationship status is not contingent on my diet or exercise routine.

My boyfriend and I make plans to go to the gym together, eat healthy meals together and live our best life together. While we may do some stuff together, I know my best self is and always will be, up to me to maintain.

All the stuff you hear about 21 days to make a habit, I think is a bunch of nonsense.

It takes about 21 seconds. Or a bowl of homemade cheesecake ice cream.

Desires are the death of dreams.

And accomplishment, that's an every-day task, without contingencies, not something that just occurs. So for me, no more counting days or building streaks. It's just the life I choose to live, day by day.

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